An interesting concept is one around PERCEPTION. I have learned over my lifetime that PERCEPTION almost always equals REALITY. If I was to put it into a mathematical equation it would look like PERCEPTION = REALITY. Oftentimes we assume we know that individuals around us understand our true nature. Think of it as the credibility rule. It takes a lifetime to build credibility, and only 10 seconds to destroy it. PERCEPTION works the same way. If you were chronically late for work, almost always showing up to work an hour after you should be arriving, then you are some always chronically late.. Your boss would perceive you to be someone who is also always chronically late. The PERCEPTION that you are chronically late, will become your REALITY. The unfortunate part of this is that even though you may start to arrive to work on time, it would be viewed as an anomaly. Now where it gets interesting is that you can change the PERCEPTION that you are chronically late by repeating the same behavior over and over, i.e., arriving on work time (if not early). However, the moment you arrive to work late again, you completely destroy the hard work of trying to change people’s PERCEPTION of you. Again, it’s like the credibility rule.
This can apply to almost anything, and it can oftentimes be an unfair PERCEPTION. For example, I have a friend who among my circle of friends is perceived to be a Gossip Queen. She got caught gossiping on three different occasions and has since been dubbed the Gossip Queen. Regardless if she never gossips again, it doesn’t matter, because she going to be the Gossip Queen for a while. Even if she never gossips for a year, people will always say “I don’t trust her, she will tell everyone my business,” even if it is untrue. Sadly, her REALITY is that people’s PERCEPTIONS are she is a Gossip Queen. Even, if this is not in fact her nature, that was her REALITY. I think most of you can relate to this, because you all know someone who has been branded a Gossip Queen.
You can change how people perceive you, but it often a painful and long process. I myself have realized on numerous occasions that how people perceive me is my REALITY. In fact recently, I learned that someone’s PERCEPTIONS became my REALITY to the point that it fractured our friendship. The question is, if you lose a friend…how do you change their PERCEPTIONS, and even I don’t have a solution for that one. I am sure there are many PERCEPTIONS of me out there among different circles of friends, and all of them are my REALITY. The funny thing is that you often find out that you could have conflicting PERCEPTIONS depending on whether you are looking at your work, your friends, your spouse/significant other, etc.
On that note, I better get ready for work so I am not late today…again…
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